Timeline of events in Australia

Ruby Princess will forever be known as The Plague Ship

Social Restrictions
March 13 - Gatherings of 500+ to be banned from March 15 (excluding education, workplaces, transport) PM initially followed up this announcement by stating he would still be going to the NRL footy game on March 14. He decided against it, but was later outraged and appalled as crowds continued going to the beach.

March 15 - Fourteen days self-isolation for anyone entering Australia. Cruise ships banned from docking for 30 days.
Except for plague ship Ruby Princess - 2700 people disembarked and went on their merry contagion-sharing way on March 19. Border Force and NSW Health still finger pointing over this decision.
March 15 was also our last lunch at The Boatshed for some time 😢
March 20 - Australian borders closed to non-citizens and non-residents
March 21 - social distancing 4 sq mt pp in enclosed space
Somewhere around here #fuckingraging was born (Was it? LC)
March 23 - hotels, bars, cinemas, gyms, churches closed. Cafe and restaurants takeaway only.
March 29 - public gathering limit of two people. All people should remain at home unless required to leave for work, essential shopping, medical and caring needs, exercise.

Somewhere around here some of us started blatantly cringing from - or taking to task in some cases - strangers who don't comply with social distancing rules; and hankering for tools like 1.5m long cattle prods for protection

PM Press Conferences
Our (your) Prime Minister gave a seemingly endless series of press conferences announcing new restrictions. What should have been a simple matter of reading concise list of points, became confusing, drawn out events, with words and explanations tumbling out at random. He would list things which would now be closed; cinemas, bars, libraries then (perhaps after an imaginary full stop or comma) immediately list things not closing and adding "will remain open" at the end.

In a couple of press conferences he did quite well initially with attempts to be understanding of community issues, before bumbling along into a series of confusing statements and finally getting very testy with journalists asking questions.
Q Why are specialist and department stores open if no-one is supposed to be out shopping?
Q Why are bootcamps allowed to have 10 people? PM responded very snarkily, because that's their livelihood Andrew, do you want me to take their jobs away?

Memorable announcements from PM
"Schools will remain open for the children of those essential workers who cannot take time off. We need our doctors, nurses, police etc to still be able to turn up for work. You should not leave home unless it is for essential food, medical needs, to exercise or if you are an essential worker who is unable to work from home" Sounds good so far.
"Who is an essential worker? Anyone who has a job."

You have a haircut, but it is limited to 30 minutes.
The time limit was removed days later no doubt after the male rule-makers were given a bit of feedback from the other half of the population.

Limits on gatherings:
Walking/visiting: 2 people, unless from same household group
Wedding: 5 people - celebrant, participants and witnesses.
Funerals: 10 people
Bootcamp: 10 people
Classrooms: no limit really, normal sizes up to 35 presumably. But children cannot play together after school.

This of course led to a wild range of scenario proposals - what if I get married and get all attendees to wear runners and do star jumps, can there be 10 people? What if we get married in a class room, while doing exercises and having a 10 minute haircut?

Memorable Fines
Guy depressed over losing his job, drove 2kms from home, parked looking out the ocean while he smoked a cigarette. Alone, in his car.

Guy sitting alone on a park bench, eating a kebab. Turns out it was the third time that day police had told him not to be out and about, but that ruins a good story. (NSW)

Two early-20s girls fined for driving under 3kms to get takeaway coffee. (QLD)

Learner driver fined $1000 for being out with supervisor to log driving hours. (later withdrawn)

Couple sitting on park bench drinking coffee.

A good representation of the task ahead